I Choose to Love

The past few years have been the most painful and the most transformative in my life. I’m starting to feel the urge to write again and, having come through the fire, would like to share my current vision for how I choose to show up in all of my relationships. It’s a moving (and often elusive) target so I’m very open to feedback and expect it to evolve over time.


I choose to accept you exactly as you are
because you are full and complete on your own
and you are the ultimate captain of your being.
Our journeys braid together with neither leading nor following.

I choose to be fully present with your joy and your suffering
because empathy is how I recreate your experience inside of me
which allows me to recognize and love your essential uniqueness
and find that place where our souls overlap.

I choose to seek first to understand your behaviors and thoughts
because if I experienced your background and life history
I would think and behave exactly as you
and love is born from understanding.

I choose to explore my edge of vulnerability with you
because courageously speaking my truth allows you to see me
as a spiritual being having a human experience
and vulnerability is the birthplace of intimacy, joy, and creativity.

I choose to dismantle the barriers to my experience of love
and forgive my wounded child and my stories of “not enough”
recognizing they are exactly those places inside me that long
to consciously evolve and manifest divinity in the material world.

I choose to perceive only expressions of love or calls for love
because it keeps my heart open and curious
and allows me to relax into a basic trust
that we live in a friendly Universe.

I choose to affirm my desires as flames arising from my divine spark
because it is important for me to express my deepest self with you,
to take full responsibility for my pleasure, and act in full integrity
so I can fill my heart and give to you from a place of complete generosity.

I choose to love you without attachment
because I wish to release you from expectation,
be open to the inevitability of change
and fully appreciate the present moment.

I choose to be 100% responsible for my own needs and feelings
and let you be 100% responsible for yours
because I cherish your autonomy and freedom
and know we are at source for our own happiness.

I choose to deeply care for your well-being
because your happiness is important to me
and I wish to engage with you in ways
that allow you to feel loved and respected.

I choose to nurture visions of your highest potential
beyond even what you might imagine for yourself
because it is through feeling held and lifted
that we can dream into more beautiful ways of being in the world.

I choose to ignite and energize our “we-ness”
because it is intelligent and wise beyond our selves
and allows us to participate in humanity’s awakening
and the evolution of God.

I choose to stay open to the mystery and potential
of you, me, and us
confident in my not knowing
how the universe will unfold.

7 thoughts on “I Choose to Love

  1. Amazing…didn t get there yet,but i totally follow…u really nailed it! Thanks for sharing. I ve just got my epiphany after years of sufferings,and reading your words gave me peace…i m not alone…

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  2. I resonate so completely with this sentiment: “I choose to seek first to understand your behaviors and thoughts | because if I experienced your background and life history | I would think and behave exactly as you | and love is born from understanding.” I think this is a point that Terry Pratchett has made in several of his books in beautiful ways: we are very much created by our environment, by our body’s experience of our environment, by our memories of our experience. It goes back to the nature versus nurture argument: if we grew up in someone else’s life, would we be the same person? Well, if we had our own genetics, things would go a little differently, but much would be the same. (We can reference identical twins separated at birth for the reverse experiment.) But if “we” grew up in someone else’s body and life, we would *be* them. Knowing this, we need compassion for everyone else’s perspective, no matter what they’ve done or how reprehensible we think it may be.

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    1. Thanks Raederle. I fell upon this perspective when I was hearing a lot of people say “If I were you…” and I was trying to figure out why this annoyed me. It dawned on me that if you were me, you’d BE me and would think and act just as I do. And v.v.!

      Of course, I think what most people mean by this statement is “If I were me, but suddenly in your situation…”, but still, it is humbling to remember that we really don’t know what it is like to be in another’s shoes.

      I’ve heard of Terry Pratchett and will check him out!

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      1. One of my favorites by Terry Pratchett is Small Gods. Although, if I were recommending novels to you in general, I’d recommend Hand of Isis by Jo Graham.

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